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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27840703">Lamenting Lads</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sardonyx164/pseuds/sardonyx164'>sardonyx164</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Astronomy Array (Nigel &amp; Chad in GKND) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Codename: Kids Next Door</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cuddling, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Homesickness, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Nurses &amp; Nursing, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychoanalysis, Psychologists &amp; Psychiatrists, Romantic Angst, Screenplay/Script Format</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:53:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,498</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27840703</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sardonyx164/pseuds/sardonyx164</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nigel visits a galactic psychotherapist.</p><p>[Can be seen as a sequel fic to "Prickly Qualms", but it still works as a standalone fic]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nigel Uno &amp; Chad Dickson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Astronomy Array (Nigel &amp; Chad in GKND) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2233158</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>HMS Twelve Hundred Seventy Four</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lamenting Lads</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I actually had this idea brewing for a while (like, a few months); it just took me until late November to finish/edit it. What kickstarted the final process? This clip of Animaniacs where the titular characters are messing with their psychologist:</p><p>https://kitkat-the-muffin.tumblr.com/post/635678621360619520/taking-advantage-of-the-animaniacs-attention-to</p><p>And of course:<br/>https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InkblotTest</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>[Scene: a psychotherapist’s office onboard the Galactic Kids Next Door spaceship. The <span>office</span> has two <span>big</span> <span>swivel chairs</span> and a computer sitting on a desk. Nigel slowly opens the door and peeks into the room]</em>
</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> Um, excuse me...? Is this the psychotherapist’s office?</p><p><b>Chad: </b>No, it’s a gymnasium. What the fu--</p><p><b>Nigel: </b>Chad?! Don’t tell me that you’re also...!?</p><p>
  <em>[<span>One of the chairs</span> <span>slowly </span><span>swivels around to reveal Chad, who</span> is calmly drinking a cup of tea]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad: </b>Oh, good. You’re here.</p><p>
  <em>[Nigel stares at Chad for a few moments before he walks out of the room. He returns a minute later an<span>d slumps onto</span> the <span>other </span>chair]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad: </b>Oh, good. You’re back.</p><p><b>Nigel: </b><span>[bitterly] </span>The nurse at the front desk says she won’t let me leave until I get better.</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [sipping his tea] I don’t blame her. You <em>really </em>need someone to look after you. [sipping <span>more</span> tea] Oh, wait. That’s literally <em><b>my job.</b></em> I’m your <em><b>nurse.</b></em> Because apparently I...er, I mean, these <em>kids</em> want to play it safe regarding your health. [<span>guzzling his</span> tea] Isn’t that just swell?</p><p><b>Nigel: </b>[confused] You are... surprisingly calm. What’s with that?</p><p><b>Chad: </b>Numbuh Infinity made me go through anger management classes. Part of the curriculum is to drink chamomile tea every morning. [sipping more tea] The tea is...surprisingly delicious.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b>...Are you the real Chad Dickson, by any chance?</p><p><b>Chad:</b> Of course.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> Then prove it!</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [sipping more tea] One of your biggest dreams is to jump into a pile of plushies. Also, you cuddle with a blue Rainbow Monkey plushie every night.</p><p>
  <em>[Nigel stammers before slapping himself on the head]</em>
</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> I can’t believe this...</p><p>
  <em>[Chad snickers as he pulls out some cards from his desk]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad: </b>Okay, so, our first activity involves inkblots.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> Aren’t those kind of old-fashioned...?</p><p><b>Chad: </b>Well, yes. But I feel like it’s a good idea to complete this activity anyway. [clearing his throat] Now then...[holding up the first card]...tell me what you see.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b>...That’s an inkblot.</p><p><b>Cha</b><b>d</b><b>: </b>[narrowing his eyes] Don’t get smart with me, kid.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [crossing his arms] Fine. It’s a butterfly. I <em>hate</em> butterflies.</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [offended] And what did butterflies ever do to you?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [coldly] They lure you in with their cute appearance and then they <em><b>suck out your </b></em><em><b>blood.</b></em></p><p><b>Chad:</b> [sipping his tea] Yeah, I think you’ve been playing too many video games. Also, I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of...[clenching his cup]...<em><b>mosquitoes. </b></em></p><p><b>Nigel: </b>Well, good to see we have <em>that </em>in common...</p><p><b>Chad: </b>Right, anyway. [holding up a different card] Tell me what you see in this picture.</p><p>
  <em>[Nigel takes a long look at the <span>card</span> before calmly snatching it out of Chad’s hands and throwing it over his shoulder]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad: </b>[sipping some tea]...Alright.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b>...I saw hearts on that one.</p><p><b>Chad:</b> And what did hearts do to you?</p><p>
  <em>[Nigel’s lip quivers; however, the boy’s cold expression remains]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad: </b>You <em>do</em> realize that hearts are required for survival, right? Not just physically, but emotionally, too.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [rolling his eyes] I’m...all too aware of that.</p><p><b>Chad:</b>...Hmm. Let’s try something else.</p><p>
  <em>[Chad puts away the inkblot cards. He then pulls out a few crayons and a piece of blank paper from his desk]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad:</b> Right. Now for this next activity, I want you to draw the first thing that comes to mind when I say a specific word.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b>...Very well.</p><p><b>Chad:</b> Okay, so, your first word is...nature.</p><p>
  <em>[Nigel happily draws something]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad: </b>Next is...silence.</p><p>
  <em>[Nigel sadly draws something]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad:</b> And your final word is...fun.</p><p>
  <em>[Nigel hesitates <span>for a few seconds</span> before drawing <span>his picture. </span><span>Chad notices that Nigel is </span><span>getting teary-eyed</span>]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [gently] Uh, are you okay...?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [quietly<span>]</span>...Yes. [sniffs] I’m just...allergic to the dust in this room, that’s all. [getting up] Now if you’ll excuse me, I...need to be alone for a bit.</p><p><b>Chad: </b>Okay. I suggest you go to the break room down the hall. There are a lot of toys and books there that might help calm you down. Come back when you’re ready, alright?</p><p>
  <em>[Nigel nods and slowly leaves the room. Chad finishes his tea as he looks <span>over</span> Nigel’s drawings, which show a treehouse, a boy sitting alone in a dark room, and...a few <span>numbers, including 274</span>]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad:</b>...I knew it.</p><p>
  <em>[Cut to: thirty minutes later. Nigel sluggishly reenters the office and collapses onto his chair. The boy’s eyes are red, tearstained, and lusterless]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad: </b>[softly] Nigel?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [weakly] Huh...?</p><p><b>Chad:</b> Would you like to do one more activity? Don’t worry, <span>this </span><span>one’s easy.</span></p><p>
  <em>[He takes out two white wristbands from his desk drawer]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad: </b>I’m going to put these wristbands on you, which will allow me to see what you’re feeling. Is that alright with you?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> Sure...</p><p>
  <em>[Chad puts the wristbands onto Nigel. <span>The wristbands glow, and t</span>he monitor instantly shows a black screen with six cartoon faces; two faces (fear and sadness) are already lit up]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad:</b> <span>Now then...p</span>lease tell me what’s on your mind, Nigel.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> I would make a snarky comment. However, I am very exhausted. The only thing I want to do is sleep. I am <em>terrified,</em> Chad. This is not like me at all...</p><p><b>Chad:</b>...Go on.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> <span>I have been through many frightening events. </span><span>Listing them all would take too long. Therefore, I shall only divulge my most neoteric memories...</span></p><p>
  <em>[One face (fear) dims out and another face (anger) lights up]</em>
</p><p><span><b>Nigel:</b></span> <span>First, m</span><span>y </span><span>relationship with my girlfriend was terminated</span><span>. Then </span><span>there was that treaty incident. </span><span>A</span><span>nd then I had to </span><span>part from</span><span> my friends. </span><span>All three events happened during the same week...</span></p><p><b>Chad:</b> [sympathetically] Ouch.</p><p><span><b>Nigel:</b></span> <span>“Ouch”? </span><span>What an understatement...</span></p><p><b>Chad: </b>Um, anyway, I’m seeing some anger here. Why do you think that emotion is appearing?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> Oh, that. I am still beating myself up. For my complete inability at performing romantic actions. And for focusing more on work than on romance...</p><p><b>Chad:</b> Well, I don’t think you should be blaming yourself. That self blame could lead to some serious illnesses in the future.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b>...Okay.</p><p><b>Chad:</b> Hey, tell me...are you blaming yourself for the treaty incident, too?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b>...Yes.</p><p><b>Chad: </b>[confused] Why?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> Because I stole your job. You wanted to be a galactic field operative. You wanted to be the best. However, you are stuck in this office. You are stuck as my nurse. And it is because of me. You must absolutely detest me, Chad.</p><p><b>Chad:</b>...How hard is your cortisol hitting you?</p><p><b>Nigel: </b>What do you mean…?</p><p><b>Chad: </b>[softly] Listen, Nigel, I don’t hate you. You’ve...you’ve always been one of my dearest friends. I...don’t really deserve the title of “Best Earth Operative” or even the...field operative role…</p><p>
  <em>[Chad sighs as he rests his head on the desk. The sad face becomes so bright that it turns the monitor’s whole screen blue. Nigel quickly goes over to Chad and hugs him]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [sniffs]...See, this is why they picked you. [sniffs] You’re a really sweet guy, Nigel.</p><p>
  <em>[Chad buries his face in his arms and starts crying. Nigel simply squeezes Chad and rubs his back]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad:</b>...Thank you. [sniffs] You know, I’m starting to think that my new job as your nurse was a good thing all along. I don’t have to deal with overbearing parents or people who see me as just a status symbol. I’m just by myself most of the time. And you know what? [tearfully smiling] The peace and quiet is really nice. For the first time in years, I actually feel...[wiping a stray tear away]...happy.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [quietly] Good to see that one of us is happy…</p><p>
  <em>[Chad looks at Nigel for a moment before pulling him onto his lap. Nigel quickly snuggles up to Chad]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad: </b>Do you think you’ll never be happy?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b>...I don’t think so. [tearing up] I mean, how are you supposed to be happy when you don’t have anyone who will spend time with you or comfort you? I do have galactic friends, but…but it’s not the same! I want a human friend! I want human warmth! I...I…! [quietly] I’m so lonely...</p><p><b>Chad: </b>[rubbing Nigel’s back]...Nigel, you’re not alone, alright? You still have me.</p><p><b>Nigel: </b>Huh…?</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [warmly] In the past, I was always there to take care of you or keep you company when your friends were unavailable. And now, in the <em>present</em>...[giving Nigel a squeeze]...I’m here to do those same things.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [returning the squeeze]...Okay. Thank you, Chad.</p><p><b>Chad: </b>Hey, why don’t you stay in this ward for a week or two? I think it would be a great opportunity for us to bond and for you to recover. What do you say?</p><p>
  <em>[The sad face and the blue screen are both instantly replaced by a happy face and a golden screen]</em>
</p><p><b>Nigel: </b>[smiling warmly] That sounds wonderful, old friend.</p><p>End</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>-There's a reference to Beautifly's Pokedex entry in this story. Assuming the Pokedex is correct, then Beautifly is an aggressive predator that sucks out the bodily fluids of its prey. (You didn't need any sleep tonight, anyway.)</p><p>https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Beautifly_(Pok%C3%A9mon)</p><p>-Originally, Chad would cuddle up to Nigel...and neither of them would have their shirts on. Why? Because Chad believes Nigel has too much cortisol in his system, and oxytocin/skin to skin contact would help him feel better. Chad would act a lot like a broody hen; he would cuddle Nigel for hours and attack anyone who disturbs the cuddling process.</p><p>https://nurselofwyr.tumblr.com/post/121143954989/consolecadet-shrikestrike-moggiepillar-i-can-no</p><p>-For some reason, the idea of Chad flatly snarking at Nigel is hilarious to me. I was inspired by this piece of fanart:</p><p>https://dorizard-art.tumblr.com/post/612431012087070720</p><p>More relevant links:<br/>https://nmbh1.tumblr.com/post/190109195617/a-really-good-way-to-tell-if-nigels<br/>https://nmbh1.tumblr.com/post/618147800752046080/emotional-baggage-bold-whatever-applies-to</p><p>Naturally, because of the 2000 word cap that I put on myself, I couldn't write about everything that the poor kid has been through.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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